FUNNY STORIES - The religious horse

Once a man bought a horse. You had to say ?hallelujah? to make it go and ?amen? to make it stop.
The man was riding his horse one day but then he realized he was riding to an edge of a cliff.
He was so scared he forgot how to make the horse stop. He thought this was the end of his life and he started praying, ending the prayer by saying ?amen?.
The horse suddenly stopped at the edge of the cliff. 'hallelujah' said the man with a sigh of relief and off went the horse!

Body Parts Used as Verbs / puzzle

http://iteslj.org/cw/1/vm-bodyverb.html

JOKES

During the cold war the fear of communism and Soviet influence was prevalent in most of the Western world countries. The following conversation takes place in the office of the President of the United States.- Mr. President, the Russians have just landed on the Moon and started painting it red! They are working fast - a quarter of the Moon is already finished!- Ok, so what is the problem?- But Mr. President, if they make it all red, the communist symbol will hang over heads of the entire world population!- Don’t worry about it, just let them work.Two days later, the adviser storms into President’s office again.- Mr. President, they are almost done with the first half!- No worries, just let them keep going.Later that week, the same adviser sadly declares to the President.- Mr. President, if you look up, you’ll notice that the Moon is completely red now. The Russians are done.- Ok, now that they are done, please send one of our shuttles and have them write “Coca-Cola” right across.

ENGLISH VERBS PUZZLE

http://iteslj.org/cw/3/ck-dolch08.html

PHRASAL VERB

Keep around
- Keep something near you
Keep at
- Continue with something difficult
Keep away
- Don't allow someone near something
Keep back
- Maintain a safe distance
Keep down
- Not vomit
Keep from
- Control yourself, refrain
Keep in
- Not allow someone out
Keep off
- Not talk about- Not tread on something
Keep on
- Continue
Keep out
- Not allow someone to enter
Keep to
- Stay within limits
Keep up
- Not let someone go to bed- Maintain a continuous action, persist
Keep up at
- Continue, not quit

AMAZON RAINFOREST

Natural rubber (or latex): used to make many rubber products from electronic components to condoms. Rubber was responsible for the first economic cycle of development in the Amazon rainforest. Natural rubber is extracted from tall trees called "Seringueiras" and still today is a major activity for many families.
• Brazil-nut: the nut is actually a seed. The Brazil-nut is one of the biggest nuts of the world and is exported all over the planet. Local populations use this nutritious seed to make all sort of food and condiments;
• Guarana: is a small berry-like fruit that is very sweet and juicy. You can taste it in natural refreshments anywhere in Brazil , they are also used to make sodas. Brazilians are very fond of their guarana sodas and it's something they usually miss when living outside Brazil . Because of that you can find it in any city that has a Brazilian community like Miami , New York or Paris. People use Guarana to stay awake and active in parties and raves, since guarana has an effect similar to caffeine without the problems related to it. Nowadays some companies sell Guarana as a weigh loss substance, although its value for weight loss has not been proven.
• Açai: another fruit that has a strong taste and purple color is very nutritious and brings energy after consumption. It is used by athletes of all kinds. It hit the Brazilian market outside the Amazon region only in the nineties when professional fighters and gym-addicts start to eat Acai whenever they could. Nowadays you can find juices and ice creams of Açai anywhere in Brazil and is steadily going out to the world market.
• Many minerals like iron, manganese, uranium, bauxite, copper, gypsum, lignite, nickel and gold can be found in the Amazon rainforest region. Most of the bauxite used in the world comes from here and bauxite is the primary component of aluminum. Chances are that your aluminum soda can came from the Amazon rainforest.
• Diamonds and other less valuable gems are mined in the Amazon rainforest. These gems are obtained by river mining, most of it still using manual techniques. The gems are responsible for the great migration of people in the sixties to the Amazon rainforest searching for diamonds and gold.
• Craftwork: if you imagine hundreds of indigenous tribes you can also imagine how much craftwork like baskets, tapestry, sculptures, musical instruments, body ornaments, primitive weaponry, furniture and rituals related objects you can find in the Amazon rainforest. The variety is so great due to the number of different indigenous cultures. Some professional interior designers use a lot of primitive art for decoration because it's original and there are very beautiful works.
• Wood: there are hundreds of different woods in the Amazon Rain Forest , each one best used for a different purpose like furniture, construction, wood sculptures or canoes. Unfortunately a large part of this production is from illegal extraction and it hurts the forest and the local fauna. Legal extractors always have a sustainability certificate like the one provided by FSC (Forest Stewardship Council) and guarantee that the wood was cut respecting environmental standards.
• Medicinal plants: there are many medicinal plants in the Amazon rainforest. Researching those plants will produce a wide range of new medicine for many kinds of disease. Substances that may cure diseases like cancer, AIDS and Alzheimer are potentially hidden inside plants in the Amazon rainforest.

JOKES

What Bill Gates' wife says him when they make love?
- Bill, you are so MICRO, you are so SOFT.

An American:- We have Barack Obama, Stevie Wonder,
Bob Hope and Johnny Cash.
An Italian:- We have Silvio Berlusconi, no wonder,
no hope and no cash.

BODY TALKS

http://www.everythingesl.net/inservices/body_language.php

PUZZLEWORD

http://iteslj.org/cw/3/ck-dolch05.html

LINK PASTS OF THE BODY

http://iteslj.org/cw/2/tm-body.html

CROSSWORD PUZZLE 3

http://iteslj.org/cw/3/ck-dolch04.html

CROSSWORD PUZZLE 2

http://iteslj.org/cw/3/ck-dolch03.html

CROSSWORD PUZZLE 1

http://iteslj.org/cw/3/ck-dolch02.html

EASY CROSSWORD PUZZLE

http://iteslj.org/cw/3/ck-dolch01.html

GHEMAKROYDS

RELATIVE CLAUSE 7

http://www.ego4u.com/en/cram-up/grammar/relative-clauses/exercises?08

RELATIVE CLAUSE 6

http://www.ego4u.com/en/cram-up/grammar/relative-clauses/exercises?08

RELATIVE CLAUSE 5

http://www.ego4u.com/en/cram-up/grammar/relative-clauses/exercises

REALTIVE CLAUSE 4

http://www.ego4u.com/en/cram-up/grammar/relative-clauses/exercises?09

RELATIVE CLAUSE 3

http://www.ego4u.com/en/cram-up/grammar/relative-clauses/exercises?11

RELATIVE CLAUSE 2

http://www.ego4u.com/en/cram-up/grammar/relative-clauses/exercises?10

RELATIVE CLAUSE 1

http://www.ego4u.com/en/cram-up/grammar/relative-clauses/exercises?02

2010

It's time

to build up

new

things.